Post-it Note from God

I've been waiting for the perfect post to come to me. I wanted my first *real* post to be inspired, a blog the likes of which has never been seen before. This, however, is not that blog. It's not perfect, I'm not perfect. And that's what I want to write about right now.

Sunday at Church of the Redeemer in Nashville, Father Thomas talked about testimonies and this format that people try to fit their stories into: bad, sinful person-->then God-->resulting in a changed person. This wasn't the point of his sermon but it was a good one so you should check it out here. As he was talking about this, I thought about what my testimony is. I've actually "given my testimony" before and it's funny to think back on the things you've said and the lessons you've taught. I don't know if it's because I'll be 25 later this week and feeling a bit older, but I've been thinking more about the follies or arrogance of my youth. Not that those talks and testimonies were wrong or totally off base, they just might not be what I would say today. So what would my testimony be today?

I was a sinner. Unforgiving, hard hearted and headed, quick to anger, failing to love and live my life by love. Ignoring God and following the thoughts and desires of my own heart. I left undone many things I should have done and did many things I should have left undone. There was no health in me. And then God...and then I was still a sinner and all those things except covered in grace, mercy, and the forgiveness of God's love. Striving to be better, striving to love better and to live better but knowing that it is only through Him that I am changed.

One of Father Thomas' points or questions in his sermon was, "What is God doing in your life? In what areas is He working on you?" I think I've been more acutely aware of this lately because this last year has been a time of great change and transition both externally and internally. God has brought many people in and out of my life and I have seen Him work more clearly than I think I have ever been aware before. There have been blessings and sorrows, joy and trials, but He's sustained me through it all. I am not perfect but I can still embrace what Nouwen calls "becoming the beloved." Knowing that, despite my imperfections and failures, He still loves me. That's pretty amazing. This video really touched me and speaks very eloquently about this so I wanted to share. Please watch it, it will be worth the two or three minutes I promise! I'll wait...

Wow, how powerful. I now have a post-it note on my desk that says, "Do you know that I love you?" I read it everyday to remind myself. As I was trying to explain this to one of my best friends tonight, I said that it was kind of like having a post-it note from God. I encourage you to have your own post-it note, whether mental or physical, to know that God "loves you just as your are and not as you should be." I dare you :)